YouwishyouwouldhaveknownTube 

An ongoing online exhibition that asks people to answer the question “What do you wish someone taught or told you about sex?” in a video format. To submit work, go to our open call page.

SexEd Presents: Pleasure
Sexy and essential pleasure resources that are part of the SexEd online video exhibition “YouwishyouwouldhaveknownTube” and made during Open Engagement 2015.

What is pleasure? Why it is controversial? Why is it seemingly taboo for self-identified women? Why is it illegal to discuss in the context of ‘comprehensive’ sex education? The following videos were made in collaboration with SexEd after a workshop about pleasure with sex educator, Karen B.K. Chan, and respond to the question “What do you wish someone would have taught or told you about pleasure and sex?”

Charlotte Stiles
Pleasure Parts

… wishes she knew that pleasure comes in many forms and we are more similar than different when it comes to genitalia.

Rosemary Meza-DesPlas
What Gives You Pleasure

… wishes she spent more time exploring the small gestures of touching that bring pleasure and create a sense of intimacy between people.

 
Pleasure Talks: Feels better when you talk about it
A mini-series about making pleasure more accessible through communication.

Kendell Harbin
Part 1 (Talking to your friends and family)

… wishes she knew earlier that talking to friends and family could be a means to understanding the nuances and many forms of pleasure and intimacy. From Pleasure Talks: Feels better when you talk about it, a mini-series about making pleasure more accessible through communication.

Amy Masters
Part 2 (Talking to your partner)

… wishes she knew that talking to your partner openly and honestly about desires and pleasure can help to avoid embarrassing and inhibiting sexual experiences. From Pleasure Talks: Feels better when you talk about it, a mini-series about making pleasure more accessible through communication.

Frankie Toan
Part 3 (Talking to yourself)

… wishes he could have talked to his younger self about about changing bodies, wants and desires, as one path to pleasure. From Pleasure Talks: Feels better when you talk about it, a mini-series about making pleasure more accessible through communication.

 
 
Commissioned Projects

Karen B. K. Chan
Jam, 2013, by Karen B. K. Chan

Jam proposes an alternate framework for sexual connection that comes directly from musical improvisation. According to this proposal, experience and pleasure are valued, partners are collaborators in unscripted journeys, and consent is ongoing and reciprocal, just like in any musical jam session. Karen wishes something like this was included in her sex education.

Johana Moscoso
Ellas/Them (Women), 2012, by Johana Moscoso

Ellas / Them (Women) is a characterization and compilation of all the different women that have contributed to the sex education that Johana received in her native country, Colombia. Each woman is portrayed through a series of commentaries and sets that reflect their identity. Johana wished that someone had been more frank and open with her about HPV and relationships. We’ve used this video as a starting point to discuss where and how you get advice on reproductive health.

Rebecca Herman & Mark Shoffner
Original Sex, 2013, by Rebecca Herman & Mark Shoffner

Original Sex is a sex-education drama that presents the (imagined) views of Supreme Court Justices Scalia and Thomas. The justices teach the principles of “original sex” based on the principles of America’s Founding Fathers and role-play a courtship scene between George Washington and Martha Dandrige. Rebecca & Mark wanted to demonstrate how dysfunctional the laws surrounding sexuality are, something they wished was discussed in their own sex education.
Open Call

Liz Bergesch
Nobody Else’s Business

… wishes someone had told her that having sex, or not having sex, doesn’t make you better than anyone else.

Ronika McClain
Consent Works in Mysterious Ways

… wishes they’d learned more about consent.

Jane Gardner and Enrique Ferreyros
Porn vs. Reality

… wish someone had explained to them that sex in porn is very different from sex in reality.

Ellie Pohl
Little Boobs Are Awesome, Too!

… wishes someone told her that little breasts are just as awesome as big breasts.

Bruno Martins Rizardi and McLayne Ycmat
What is Gender?

… wish they learned that gender was more than just your biological sex.

Benjamin Sands
find ur cute

… wishes someone had told him to find his cute.

Hannah Lee
Sex Is A Collaboration

… wishes someone told her that sex can be awkward, beautiful, and most importantly, a collaboration.

Lauren Dickerhoof
A Note to My Younger Self

… wishes she could tell her younger self that whatever she decides about sex, it’s her decision and it’s ok.

Robert Hickerson
The Touch of a Hand

… wishes that he was told that sex is more than penis/vagina penetration.

Lola Martinez and Ashley Goeller
And that’s okay!

… wish they were told about gender and its fluidity in an inclusive context. This video was made to share with younger siblings.

Carly McDougald, Caroline Wimberly, Crystal Henry, Jasmine Ho, Rebecca Liu
slut video PSA

… wish that issues like slut-shaming were discussed in their sex education classes.

Amalia McCallister
Pornography, Sex Education, and You

… wishes that her sex education included how to deal with porn and the internet.

Tephany Lou Padreganda
Sex Is Not Dirty 2

… wishes that someone told her early on that sex was not bad, dirty, shameful, etc.

Natasha Villarraga
VP

… wishes that someone had told her that her worth was not based on her sexuality.

Gabby Madden
Express yourself

… wishes that someone had talked to her about masturbation.

Alexis Bryant & Bryan Ribiero
First Nude

… wish that someone told them it was ok to be a little nervous about the opposite sex, and sex in general.

Sarah Browning
sexedvideo

… wishes that her sex education included how to deal with porn and the internet.

FrogScotty
Good Manners

… wishes that someone told him that gay sex is reciprocal, and it’s ok to feel mad and frustrated if it’s not.